I am taking a new approach to this Valentines Daything. Instead of being/ feeling like a grumbly old single spinster, I am going to dedicate this day to myself. I will do everything I like to do and that makes me feel important.
1) I have to do the laundry I have been avoiding so I can look great on this fabulous day.
2) I will go to the gym and relieve some stress.
3) Maybe take my dogs and suck up all the love and attention they give me for being so thankful to be out of the house.
4) I will stop at Aspen Coffee and visit my bff.
5) I don't love it but it will pay for my vacation I am treating myself to in 2 weeks!!
6) And Definitely go out for a drink after work.. maybe have a Cosmo ;) Maybe I will have some luck and win shake of the day!
7) and at some point I know I will have some chocolate ice cream.
8) Id buy myself a flower but I am trying to save money to spend in Denver (so its the thought that counts)!
Its just all how you look at it. I did almost all the same things yesterday. I think that means I am living the life, and this day was made to show me how happy I really am. Nothing else matters.
But all in the same breath of thought, Any single guys out there?!
I don't want to date you, I just don't want you to feel guilty when you buy me a drink. ;)
TAX SEASON!!!!! I got my taxes done and I am waiting for that check! It better get here before I head to Denver for a long needed vacay!
On a different note, I am trying out online dating again. I foresee this ending badly and some stalking will occur (from either party). Maybe I have watched Catfish the movie too many times (I may be in love Nev! ), but I am so skeptical of these men trying to talk to me. I am a curvy girl (I may be underestimating what it is to be curvy to most ppl), and I love chocolate. I really love anything made with any sort of cocoa product. Maybe I should erase my long winded profile and just type in "The lover of chocolate!" But I am afraid that might narrow down my future prospects. anyway, a few years back I met a guy out for coffee. he seemed nice and we were hitting it off. I soon realized he was a compulsive liar that I was in fact the love of his life. I had just met him and no we did not have an online relationship before our date. Since I do not like clingers and this guy was a first degree "cling-on," I practically ran out to my car so he wouldn't have time to see what it looked like in fear of seeing me around town. Online dating just leads me to the bottle. It is so stressful and Id rather just avoid it.
I shouldn't say that online dating leads me to the bottle when in fact all dating does the same thing. It is not too hard fall off the wagon when I live in Wisconsin because alcohol is practically running through our veins from birth or maybe conception. But back to my dating story. Last year on day light savings I made the mistake of heading to a bar at 1am to wind down after a long bartending shift. A drunken suitor stumbled up to me with his pitcher or Guinness and started to hit on me. maybe I was lonely, maybe I had a few shots at work (Shh) but for some reason I agreed to give him my phone number. 1st date: we went back to the same bar for a couple more drinks and to talk without my coworker lurking on my business (aka keeping me unknowingly safe). The night went on with only a few minor red flags like being a little too touchy and such and trying to kiss me a lot... I am probably just a prude and all guys are like that on first dates. So I agreed to a second date. We were supposed to go to Buffalo Wild Wings so i could kick his a$$ in trivia (so romantic I know). I'm a prude but I never said I was urbane. 2nd Date: we get to BWW. No trivia due to Thursday night basketball or something stupid that I do not care about whatsoever. FUDGE NUGGETS!!! This is where I learned how naive I really am. He said "My roommates are playing 'you Don't Know Jack' on the wii right now. Lets go play with them!" Der Da Der I am all for it. We get to his house and I see ppl through the window so I go on in. No one is playing the wii and for a matter of fact the wii was in his bedroom. as soon as his roomies see me they introduce themselves and immediately leave to go out for the night. How friggeden convenient for him. so He runs upstairs and I am avoiding doing so by playing with his roommates golder retriever. I did not take my coat off the entire time I was in this guys house, and I may have had the keys in my knuckles in my pocket ready for an attack. he is setting up the game in his room so I finally go up there. I sat on his bed with my coat zipped all the way up ( i mean all the way) and I was so far on the edge of the bed that I felt like the Ringling Brothers balancing for their lives. we play a round and a half or trivia and suddenly I look over at him. He had whipped out his schlong and junk nuggets god knows how long ago. I am such an awkward person. I immediately burst out laughing. and get off the bed. I tell him I have to leave and he jumps up as I'm headed out the door. I knuckled my keys again just in case. He had gathered himself and put away his buis-nasty-ness while I apologize to the dog for leaving. As I'm racing through the garage all this guy yells is "At least you will have a funny story for your friends." My friends know him as "Tall-Paul-Dick-whipperouter!"
WTF I was so pissed off but sometimes cant express my feelings properly. I think I was just mad at myself for going into that situation. well anyway, more recently I have taken a temp job in the area and found out he worked in the same office. I ran into him once (literally, because I never watch where I am going) and immediately fled the scene. I didn't wait for him to say anything.
So what do you all think? Am I just a prude or is Tall-Paul-Dick-whipperouter a creep? Should I meet liars online or creeps in a bar? which is more promising? Are those my only choices? any insight is good!
My mother, Sister and I have started a weight loss competition. It is three months long. There will be a winner every month. Instead of previous year where the prize has been money, this time the prizes are all stuff we can do together. Our first month ended this last Sunday. I WON!!! This months prize was for us to all go to the movie of my choice and the two non winners would split the winners tab. Same rules go for the next two months. Next month we are getting facials and the month after that we are going to bingo. It is stuff we could all agree on. I hope I win again! I am cheap!! :)
So far I am down 8 lbs. Yesterday I had the stomach flu and lost another 5 lbs. I feel I will be gaining that back though :(
I have no doubt I will continue to lose!!!!! I have changed my diet for the most part. and been exercising again!
Well it has been too long sing I posted last. So I am changing this blog a bit. I am done being unhealthy. I turned 26 this year and I decided on my birthday that I wasted my 25th year of life feeling sorry for myself. I had thee best 26th birthday of my life! eVEN
Instead of changing everything at once I am going to take it easy on myself. Life is short and i want to enjoy every bit of it. A big part of this change in my attitude is my 1 year old niece! I cant get enough of that kid! I dont want her growing up seeing mopy old me not living to my fullest. She is a happy, goofy little wobbly toddler and She brings joy to everyone! Im going to continue to work on improving myself without any excuses. I have hope in my heart that i will reach the goals I set!
Tomorrow is the first day of my workout plan. Today My sister, mother, I wrote up a weight loss challenge (right after we went to shawano for a deep friend lunch). It is 12 weeks long, with weigh ins every month. The first months prize is a movie, Second months prize is a facial ( oh man do i need one of these!) and the final prize is bingo night! Nothing food related contrary to what kept popping up in our brainstorm session! Winner recieves the activity at no cost. No matter who wins the prizes are all somthing we can do together. I am actually excited about this challenge! Mostly I gotta get off my big butt and start moving. Working out increases confidence and good health and I could use a bit of both lately! Woot!
As for the job search i am not worried. I am taking a job with a book distributing company. I still work at the country club bartending, serving, and now as the Director of The Kids Club...Sounds official doesnt it?! Well it doesnt quit pay the bills and give me a social life so i have been filling in at my uncles factory folding paper while listening to an audio book! I have gone through so many books lately and I love it. I dont have the attention span to actually read the books so Audible is perfect for me. I tried reading World War Z...Awful and boring, But I really liked Life of PI,Good in Bed,Bossy Pants and my favorite book is Let's Pretend This Never happened by Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess)! It is the most hilarious book I have ever read and it was "Mostly True!" On Thursday night I dropped my Kindle Fire and its busted! but have no fear, The warranty came through and they are sending me another! Woot! I feel sorta naked without it! I have to wait 2 more days! Yikes!
As for my living situation, Still at home..BUT I have put a down payment at the Eagle Flats Apartments! I decided the best way I can work on caring about myself, is by living by myself. Hopefully I get approved and move in March!
Lots of things in the works aand I am excited for it all! I am going to accept any change that comes at me!
PS... i think I want to be a comedian.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
I know It has been a horribly long time since I blogged last. Needless to say after my second interview with that company I spoke of..I still did not get the job. I made a mistake. I was as sick as a dog and went to the interview anyway. I had nooo energy whatsoever. It was awful. I left there feeling worse than before and went straight to be. I even shook their hands and I shouldn't have done that. I made excuses and apologies to myself and others lately. I am done making excuses. I am going to find a job and soon! I got back on the saddle and I'm doing well at it. I won't make myself feel like I don't deserve things anymore. I refuse to live like that any longer.
A big part of this change in my head has actually been from a book that I listened to in the car while driving to Minnesota and Lacrosse. It is called The Charge. It was very uplifting and put me in my place. Made me realize that excuses get you no where. Nowhere is the last place I want to be when I want to get the hell out of here. lol. In the last 3 months I have managed to save up a little money. It has been years since I wasn't living completely paycheck to paycheck. I love this feeling. Saving money is so important to me. I am just glad I have a base to work off of from here.
Next thing I need to do is WORK OUT! Or cancel my membership to Golds Gym that I am wasting $20 a month on. I know its not too much but its still being wasted. lol Meh. I will get to that when I feel like it. I am going biking asap.
I don't Think I have much else on my mind. I have gotten a few emails thanking me for my resume and that's it. I get the email and say to myself "you're welcome!" Then think "....and!" Lol. Keeping myself busy because I'm not into the waiting game any longer.
I just found out that the same company I interviewed with last month, wants me to come in on tuesday for a second interview! They would also "like to discuss the current openings available!" I am so excited. I knew there was a chance this would come around again, but I really didn't count on it. AND the job is even closer than the previous opening.
If all else fails...I am going to become a nanny. I love kids, and I have been babysitting a bit for a family at the country club that I work at. It is soo much fun and the kids are great.