I know It has been a horribly long time since I blogged last.  Needless to say after my second interview with that company I spoke of..I still did not get the job.  I made a mistake.  I was as sick as a dog and went to the interview anyway.  I had nooo energy whatsoever.  It was awful. I left there feeling worse than before and went straight to be.  I even shook their hands and I shouldn't have done that.
I made excuses and apologies to myself and others lately. I am done making excuses.  I am going to find a job and soon!  I got back on the saddle and I'm doing well at it.  I won't make myself feel like I don't deserve things anymore.  I refuse to live like that any longer.

A big part of this change in my head has actually been from a book that I listened to in the car while driving to Minnesota and Lacrosse.  It is called The Charge.  It was very uplifting and put me in my place.  Made me realize that excuses get you no where.  Nowhere is the last place I want to be when I want to get the hell out of here. lol. 
In the last 3 months I have managed to save up a little money.  It has been years since I wasn't living completely paycheck to paycheck.  I love this feeling.  Saving money is so important to me.  I am just glad I have a base to work off of from here. 

Next thing I need to do is WORK OUT! Or cancel my membership to Golds Gym that I am wasting $20 a month on.  I know its not too much but its still being wasted.  lol  Meh. I will get to that when I feel like it.  I am going biking asap. 

I don't Think I have much else on my mind.  I have gotten a few emails thanking me for my resume and that's it.  I get the email and say to myself  "you're welcome!"  Then think "....and!" Lol.   Keeping myself busy because I'm not into the waiting game any longer. 

Great News!

I just found out that the same company I interviewed with last month, wants me to come in on tuesday for a second interview! They would also "like to discuss the current openings available!"  I am so excited. I knew there was a chance this would come around again, but I really didn't count on it.  AND the job is even closer than the previous opening. 

If all else fails...I am going to become a nanny.  I love kids, and I have been babysitting a bit for a family at the country club that I work at.  It is soo much fun and the kids are great.

Minor Setbacks, But Optimisim Ahead!

Well, I went through the interview process, and it went great. The interviewer gave me great vibes about how I would fit in with the team, and that "I would be a breath of fresh air for the office!"
But while I was packing for my great 10-day vacation to Chicago and Georgia, I got the disappointing news in an email.
They picked someone that had been trained completely for the position. DangIT!!!!

BUT!!!!
In the email she mentioned there is another opening in April!  I am not going to bank on getting it, But it would be nice!  Tomorrow I am hitting up my favorite coffee shop and I am back to the job search.  I refuse to be a bum any longer... I had a great 2 week vacation from bartending, and I feel it reset me. I haven't been on a vacation in years.

On a happier note, I got to see my "AS'best'TOS" friend.  She lives all the way in Columbus, GA.  Only a 1.5 hour flight from Chicago, but to far in my book.  She keeps my head on straight. Anytime I need a chat, I know that she is there for me and I know I would be there for her.
it is really important to keep those positive people in your life. The negative, needy, Dementor-like  (yes, this is a Harry Potter reference), Aura suckers need to be simply casted away, let free of your day, and cut off from your energy.  I have had quite a few people in my life that just took anything from me they thought they could get (most importantly my energy) and never gave anything back. 

I have recently reevaluated "my life inventory". I have decided to change what I am spending my energy on. 
Related to my current situation(but a little off topic), In college, there was one particular person that I referred to as a human Dementor.  She turned all our friends against each other, and tried ruining years of friendship.  One day we all just realized the common denominator of our issues. It was her.  We pointed out was was wrong, and though it took years of "rehab" for our friendship with her, I have to say she really turned her negativity and manipulations around. We all keep a Weary Eye on her when issues arise, but I honestly think she cares about us now.

In conclusion, people can change. If you value their friendship, give them a break, some time to reboot and reevaluate themselves. Some changes are positive, and others not so much.  I think of myself as a pretty positive person. I hope I never change in that aspect of my life. I want everyone to be happy.  It saddens me to think that people can live (and sometimes thrive) with causing problems for others.  So I try not to think about it.  I think there is some good in all people. 

Networking is Key

I have been volunteering for the past few months with the Appleton Probation Office.  I mentor 1st time offenders that need to meet their probation terms.  I meet weekly with  the person I mentor.  At first I'd just let her tell me whatever she wanted to tell me.  I wanted her just feel comfortable. After the 2nd visit we started setting goals and laying out her budget and personal goals.  As the weeks went on, I started attending her W-2 meetings with her. I met her case worker at the Human Services, and a couple weeks into going to these meetings, I received a call.
It was her case worker!  She was calling to let me know that there is a job opening doing the same exact job she does, and how she thought I would be a great candidate.  She told her boss my name, and mentioned they are just waiting on my resume, and cover letter. 
It was a lot of information for me to all gather on my way into my bartending job.  I was not expecting this call, nor did I ever think networking was really all that successful.

Boy was I wrong.  Though I haven't gotten the Job yet, I am feeling great about where I am headed in life.  Knowing that I have the recommendation from someone in the current position brings on a great feeling of self esteem.  Even if I don't get this job, I think this was a good push to get back into the job search.  For quite a while my insecurities were taking over my brain. i have wasted too much time putting my life on hold. 

 My interview was supposed to be this afternoon, but was postponed by the interviewer until Monday. Wish me luck! 

Drugged up, applying for jobs...and a mini blog post!

Wow! to think I've wasted so much time not taking my adderall! I am getting my stuff done now that I'm back on it!
Not looking forward to when i start coming down from it though. I get cranky :(